”Ask Fluffbabe Blondie” has become hugely popular in a very short time, and the questions are pouring in from our members. We have decided to publish some questions of a general nature – but we promise to do so with the utmost discretion! If you do not wish your question to be published on the site, please make it clear when you send us your email.
Question:
Darling Blondie!
Min boyfriend is a real knockout but recently I’ve started to feel uncomfortable when we’re out together in the company of other people.
I’ve never known anyone as good as him at paying people compliments, and my girlfriends are all envious of me because he says nice things about the shoes I wear – that sort of thing.
It follows that he is also good at paying my girlfriends compliments, too – and that’s when the trouble starts. In principle, (and especially when we first started going out) I’m really pleased that he says nice things to my friends. I mean, a girl always needs a bit of flattery – right?
But problems started to arise when he made complimentary remarks about something a girlfriend was wearing but said nothing nice to me (I do get lots of compliments, but mostly while we’re at home, if you know what I mean) – and that made me feel bad about myself.
After a while I decided to ask my boyfriend to stop paying so many compliments to my girlfriends seeing as how THEIR boyfriends didn’t pay me any (well, most boys don’t, do they…)
I suppose he thought I was just being silly ‘cos he didn’t really see why it mattered at all – but he did in fact stop handing out compliments all over the place.
Now I feel bad about being so fussy – should I have been more magnanimous, and just ignored it?
Hugs from Linda
Answer:
Darling Linda!
What a great boyfriend you have – handing out all those lovely compliments! You should take good care of him, because there aren’t that many of his kind out there. Let’s face it, most men won’t even notice it if you’re wearing a brand-new nail varnish!
In matter of fact I do understand how you feel, and I think it was brave of you to tell him how you felt. What’s more, it sounds as if he “took it like a man” even though he didn’t really understand where you were coming from.
Which, by the way, is often the case with men, isn’t it?
I don’t think you should spend too much time brooding over this. If you change your mind, you can always tell your boyfriend that he’s welcome to start handing out compliments again (as long as he never, never forgets to include you!)
Even a Fluffbabe has her small weaknesses – and this one of yours is certainly not one of the biggest I’ve come across.
A big, fluffy hug from Blondie
Question:
Dear Fluffbabe Blondie!
I have just ended a relationship with a fantastic man. I had two children before I met him (both with different fathers). The reason for our mutually ending our relationship was that I feel ready to start a new life with him and build a home and a family together – but he doesn’t.
We don´t live in the same town, and neither of us wants to move away – this is out of consideration for both my children and his, and all the other parents involved. He would like to carry on as we have been doing – but I want to move on! We can’t carry on like this if we want a life together.
I met him by chance a couple of weeks ago and realised that my feelings for him have not changed. My love for him is as strong as ever.
What shall I do?
Answer:
Darling!
I have two things to say to you:
1. There’s a Swedish saying: ”Take good care of your wishes – they can easily fade away.” Now what do I mean by that? Well, there’s no way of guaranteeing that moving in with him and all the children will bring the happiness that you are looking for. It might well work out all right – but there are bound to be “daily conflicts” which would rock the boat! Four children all brought up in different ways – that’s bound to create problems.
So why not just carry on with things as they were? In that way you can both continue to enjoy the relationship – and the children can gradually get to know each other without being forced to live together. Instead of being sad because you can’t share a home, you can find happiness in your wonderful relationship without being dependent on each other!
2. You obviously love this man. Don’t forget that true love is a treasure and very difficult to find! It has to be appreciated and treated with care.
Hugs from Fluffbabe Blondie
Question:
Dear Fluffbabe Blondie!
My children are driving me up the wall. They continually demand all my attention and never show any gratitude when I drive them round to all their various leisure activites. It’s impossible to get them to help in the home. All I ask them to do is keep their rooms tidy and they can’t even be bothered to do that. They never listen to a word I say to them. They’re 13 and 15 now and I think they ought to show a bit of responsibility. Do things have to be like this?
Answer:
Darling!
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! There doesn’t seem to be much glamour in your life at the moment…Things have got to change – and fast! If it’s any consolation to you, remember that you’re not the only one in this situation – but what good is that? Your best years are slipping through your fingers! Here’s my advice:
1. Write down a list of the things you want the kids to help you with.
2. Call a family meeting and tell them how things are going to be in the family from now on.
3. NB! Do NOT pay them money to help in the home. Make them understand that it’s their home just as much as it is yours – and that this is the least that can be expected of a member of the family.
4. Stand firm. If they don’t do as they say, deduct an amount from their weekly/monthly allowance. Tell them that you will only chauffeur them if they help out in the home.
This will work – but only if you stand your ground! The bonus will be that they will very soon start to show gratitude to you for all that you do for them!
Hugs from Fluffbabe Blondie
Question:
Dear Fluffbabe Blondie!
I live in central Sweden. I have just been made redundant and my partner wants us to move away from the town where we live. But I don’t have a job in the town he wants to move to and my self-esteem is in a bad way at the moment. I’m not sure that I have the courage to move. What do you think I should do?
Answer:
Darling!
There’s only one answer to your question: MAKE THE MOVE! Don’t forget that the only things you can regret are the things you never did. Anyway, the move will offer you wonderful new opportunities in life! A new start is just what you need. Sometimes you simply have to let go and see where you land. It’s not dangerous! It’s exciting! Remember these two things:
1. Your home town is not going to disappear. If you ever want to move back it’ll still be there.
2. It’ll take you at least 6 months to find out if you like your new surroundings. Don’t give up, even though there may be problems now and then!
Hugs from Fluffbabe Blondie
Question:
Dear Fluffbabe Blondie!
I’m in love with a wonderful man. I don’t think I’ve ever been so much in love in all my life. Everything between us is perfect and I’m continually pinching my arm to find out if it’s real or just a dream.
However, there is just one problem and it seems to be getting worse and worse. He has had a very difficult past with his teenager daughter – and with his highly demanding parents. These relationships are a source of worry and pain to him, and this is why we can’t see each other as often as we’d like to.
For many years I have been struggling to create an uncomplicated life for myself and I really don’t want to end up in a situation in which I have to accept a lot of bother and worry – just because of another person and his unhappy background.
I don’t know which leg to stand on. Shall I stay in the relationship, or shall I terminate it – despite the love that we have found?
Answer:
Darling!
You are right to make your life as uncomplicated as possible. Many people think that you have to accept a lot of hassle and complications all the time. You don’t. It sounds as if the relationship has not been going on for long? If so, it’s very wise of you to think long and hard about the future of the relationship. At the same time you say that you have never been in love like this before. They say that ”Love Conquers All” – but I would think that it’s going to take a lot of sacrifices from him if that’s to be the case. It also seems likely that it will be his problems and his needs which will dominate your relationship. Here’s my advice:
1. Decide how far you’re willing to go – first of all for your own sake so that you know what it is you want and how many sacrifices you’re willing to make. But also for his sake. Make sure that you are both prepared to make sacrifices – not only you!
2. Make yourself absolutely clear. Hints and sulking won’t do any good if you find out things are not going as you want them to. Remember that no one can read your mind!
3. Think carefully about things. Everyone ought to stop up occasionally and ask themselves if they are satisfied with their lives. If not – make changes!
Hugs from Fluffbabe Blondie
|
30 days return policy 
